Meet the Fockers and other Trash

Contrary to popular belief, I'd much rather enjoy a movie than dislike a movie. I get really excited about movies I like, and I preach their gospel. Often times, however, a bad movie comes along that everyone is supposed to like, and it is my duty to express my dislike, or otherwise utter contempt, for Hollywood trash.

Meet the Fockers is Hollywood trash.

There comes times when a movie comes out, and everyone in America thinks it's their short term job to watch it. I, too, fell under the spell, and watched this movie, even though my girlfriend desperately advised me to avoid it...actually, pleaded that I do not watch it. Yet, naive me, felt that while it probably wasn't great...it could probably be at least mildly entertaining.

But, I was wrong. It wasn't entertaining. It wasn't funny. It was really, really stupid.

I mean, really stupid. Every ounce of it was predictable, formulaic filler. Poop jokes, sex jokes, and yes...little animals doing zany things...like humping legs. If there's one thing that Americans can't get enough of, it's little dogs humping legs. Hardee har har.

Watching it reminded me of such films as Anger Management, where the movie is sold on star power, but delivers absolutely nothing. It doesn't have to, really. Marketing is Hollywood's best and most loyal friend. Besides, it's not like mainstream America knows any better. They have no point of reference because they don't watch good films. Their standards for film is so low that I am only led to believe that Americans simply do not like movies. How could they when they line up like zombies every Friday for the same movie with the same actors and the same rap-up lesson-learned slow-clap kiss pie-in-the-face dog-humping trash they see every week.

I show a person what is considered a "good" film, and it is shrugged off as "weird." What's weird to me is why people will pay to eat the regurgitated digestion that is the modern Hollywood blockbuster, every week. And usually, their comments tell me less about the movie, and more about them.

I say these things, as we are on the verge of the release of House of Wax, starring Paris Hilton and other no-namer teeny boppers. I'll make two predictions. 1.) I'm guessing it will hit a good 30 million box office, and 2.) It will really suck.

But people won't know it sucks. Because they suck.

posted by steven @ 12:51 AM